I am HOMELESS.
I wish things were different. I am sure that is what every other homeless person wishes. A one-bedroom, one-bath apartment would be on my wish list. However, what is on one wishes doesn’t mean anything. I checked yesterday, and as of the 16th of this month; July 2022 will mark the anniversary of two months I have been in this homeless shelter.
The shelter is not the issue. They feed you three times a day and provide a roof to sleep under. I seem to feel like I am going crazy in here sometimes. Although I have never been in prison, I wonder how it would feel compared to this shelter. You can leave once a day. The program here is Christian. Daily devotion, two other classes during the day with a mandatory chapel at the end of the day. Next comes the showers and then to bed, but the days bleed together.
I listen to music a lot more than I did before entering the shelter. I sleep in a dorm with other guys, with an open shower situation that has see-through curtains. I am not complaining because I would be completely homeless without this place.
On Sunday, May 22, 2022, I went downtown Dallas with this guy I met here at the shelter. I don’t remember his real name, but his street name was Smok (pronounced Smoke). I had been so depressed. That day changed everything for me. Smok was full of life, making us stop at various places to take pics and selfies of the two of us. He joked and made me laugh. There was not this burden of living in a shelter anymore. He went out of his way to cheer me up. We were just two guys chatting and joking around with each other. It was one of the best days of my life for a long time.
We came across one man asleep in the library area, and I took a quick picture of the man, I wondered how he could sleep so soundly in the heat of the Texas sun. Then we walked by the main downtown library. We saw other homeless people camped out in front of the downtown library, men, women, and children. It was not believable to me at first. It didn’t seem to bother Smok. He was used to the sight of all those people without a home, sleeping outside, since he had lived outside himself.
When you are in a car, you see that homeless man or woman on the corner begging for change. Are you the person that gives them change, or more from your car? Feed them? Buy them something to eat? Or does it not phase you?
Before becoming homeless, it would not phase me. If I thought anything about them, I might have thought, you need to get a fucking job, and you would not be out on the street corner begging for change. Isn’t that horrible?
Is that you? What do you think about the homeless? I didn’t until I saw a group of twenty-five to thirty of them together.